Monthly Archives: January 2012

Vinaigrette

Posted on January 30, 2012 | Leave a comment

While Chef is in Florida, I’m in charge of my own dinners. This means, of course, that I’ve been eating nothing but salads topped with a grilled protein. Though, he did leave me with The Making of a Cook by Madeleine Kamman — whom he’s cooked with — to keep me busy while he’s chilling in the same hotel as Dennis Rodman. (That doesn’t say much about the hotel they were given; Rodman is probably so broke these days he can’t afford to color his hair.)

This is one of those cookbooks that reads like a book, which I love. And Kamman gives you the history of most recipes as well as the science behind ingredients reacting the way they do. It’s a great source of information and inspiration.

I decided to follow her recipe for vinaigrette because it sounds easy:

One paragraph, three ingredients. See? Easy!

In explaining the ingredients, Kamman says, “A dressing made with olive oil tastes better when the acid ingredient is lemon or lime juice.” It’s like she knew I’m out of vinegar & can’t hobble to the store to get more with a broken foot!

I followed her measurements exactly: 1/3 cup acid (lemon juice), 2/3 cup oil (olive), and 1 egg. So far, so good. It looked like vinaigrette.

The next part is where I lost her. She writes, “Combine the seasonings of your dressing to your heart’s content.”

How am I supposed to know what seasonings make my heart happy? Help me out here, woman! While she offers tips, like steeping dried herbs in the vinegar and adding fresh ones into the already-mixed dressing, she doesn’t suggest which herbs to use or how much.

I’ve seen Chef whip together vinaigrette in seconds, so I figured it can’t be that hard. I scoured the fridge and found what looked like fresh herbs. Luckily, a quick Google search gave me this herb-for-dummies chart to help me identify them:

Thank you, epicurious.com. 1. cilantro, 2. mint, 3. parsley, 4. dill, 5. basil, 6. oregano, 7. rosemary, 8. chive, 9. sage, 10. savory, 11. thyme, 12. tarragon. 13. marjoram.

According to this, we had cilantro, parsley, dill, and basil. Sounds good to me. Following her advice, I added a bunch of the finely chopped herbs to my acid, oil and egg mixture. It looked beautiful!

It tasted terrible. I added salt and pepper, which helped a bit, but it needed something else. The book offered me no “how to save a bland vinaigrette” tips, so I just covered it and put it in the fridge for Chef to fix when he comes back home.

I’m sure I could have done it myself with another Google search, but I’ve been spoiled with one-on-one cooking lessons from Chef. The time we spend cooking and eating together has been the best part of my day — and life — for the past year. So, you can see why I gave up on my vinaigrette; cooking without him is as sad as getting instruction from the internet.

P.S. Chef took the job in Florida. I don’t have any specific details, just that WE’RE MOVING! Hurry up and heal foot; I need to start working on my beach body.

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Steak

Posted on January 24, 2012 | Leave a comment

It’s been so long since I’ve written a post you’d think I broke my hand and not my foot. If only! My broken wrist was a breeze compared to this broken metatarsal. I may not have been able to dress myself properly with a bum hand, but even with a twisted sports bra and my shorts on inside out, I could still go running. I’ve gone from running seven miles a day to barely walking seven feet. But things could be worse. And at least my black boot goes with everything:

Good thing boots are in season for winter.

Aside from garnering sympathy, the boot also gets me A MOTORIZED CART AT COSTCO:

Costco carts should be bigger. This was barely big enough for my bubbly.

You haven’t lived until you’ve driven a cart around Costco shouting, “Tell me or I swear I will crash this cart into this chocolate display!” (I’m sure Chef thinks otherwise, judging by his distancing himself from me in the store.)

Let me tell you a secret: I love Costco. Nothing says America to me like jars of mayonnaise the size of a small child & cuts of meat as big as a dining room table. Even as an adult, I still measure myself against boxes and bags of this and that and laugh at how small I am in comparison.

Chef is going out of town, so we stocked up on food I can make with my limited mobility. Among the purchases was something as American as bulk-stores — steak. (Costco has stepped up its quality in recent years so if you’ve never thought to buy meat from there, think again.)

NY Strip

Now, there are plenty ways to flavor and cook steak. I don’t eat red meat often, but when I do, I want maximum meat flavor, which means minimal seasoning. There are all kinds of marinades out there, but as with most things, the best ones are simply prepared and use fresh ingredients. Here are two quick and easy versions using a fat, an acid and flavorings I usually have in the pantry or fridge:

(This was for 2 steaks.)

Option 1:
juice from 1 lime
2-3 cloves garlic, finely minced
3-4 splashes Worcestershire sauce
drizzle of olive oil
salt
pepper

Option 2:
fresh thyme, chopped
fresh cilantro, chopped
2-3 cloves garlic, finely minced
1 tbsp cider vinegar
2 tbsp olive oil
salt
pepper

Rub the marinade into the meat and let it sit in the fridge for at least 30 minutes before throwing it on the grill. I prefer mine mid-rare, but to each his or her own. Once it’s cooked to your desired temperature, let it sit before slicing and serving.

Grilling a big piece of meat is ideal for people with a broken foot whose significant other is leaving them for a while because you can eat the leftovers for days, in different ways. Want Asian? Make a nam tok salad:

Chef’s nam tok. Photo by Jay Winfrey, flickr.com/photos/jaywinfrey.

Nam tok is Thai for “waterfall,” and the dish is called nam tok because the meat is cooked rare to mid-rare, meaning it’s still bloody, or watery. Chef makes his salad version with tatsoi, an Asian green that has a bit of a bite. You can use anything you’d like, but to continue the Asian flavor try mint, shallots, shaved papaya, and fried garlic flakes in a Thai chili-lime vinaigrette.

Feeling fiesta-ish? Make carne asada tacos with homemade salsa and tortillas:

Don’t have the energy to cook or wash dishes because you’re sad that you’re all alone? Eat the cold meat over the sink and drown your sorrows in tequila.

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The Five People You Meet at the Host Stand

Posted on January 12, 2012 | Leave a comment

I’ve hosted on and off at several restaurants for the past three years. Whether I was working at an upscale small plates place or a casual BBQ joint, greeting and seating billionaires or bumpkins, the clientele could all be divided into five categories at the host stand:

1. Peace Signers
These people don’t acknowledge you with a verbal greeting, let alone a smile. They’ll walk up tight-lipped, holding up two fingers like somehow hostesses the world over know that means “Good evening. There will be two of us for dinner.” They probably won’t talk the entire meal unless it’s to give their order. Or if they’re businessmen, their conversation is so important they can’t break to ask for a table. Usually these are the same guys who don’t put down their sandwich the entire meal. They’ll just hold it in one hand while they shovel fries into their mouth with the other.

Thank goodness for stock photos. dreamstime.com

2. No Reservation, We’ll Wait for a Booth
Usually a first date where the guy is trying to impress the girl. Rather than call ahead and make a reservation, he and his cologne will casually stroll over to the host stand and tell you that he and this lovely lady — look at her, you think she’s lovely, right? — are going to have drinks at the bar, but to save them a table because they’ll want to sit in the main dining room eventually. An hour and two fruity martinis later, you’ll walk them to their table where they will sit, fidget with the place settings, frown, and ask for a booth. Even though there are no booths available and the restaurant is at full capacity. So you get the joy of starting the whole process over again with them and re-setting the silver and linens they messed up.

Clearly for a 2-top. Seven Restaurant and Bar in LA, la.eater.com

3. Peak-Hour Inquisitors
It’s 8 p.m. and they just want to take a look at your menu. Find out what vegetarian and gluten-free options you have. Ooh, and can they sub this for that? What’s this ethnic word mean? Do you know that because you are from that ethnic place? On second thought, they’re going to try someplace else.

Note: picture chosen for situation, not style. tablecheck.com

4. Saturday Night Large Party Stragglers
Generally a birthday/bachelor/bachelorette party that will be arriving in a party bus. You’ll know this because they’ll tell you when you’re taking their reservation. These people roll hard. So hard they lose track of time and forget they have a reservation. Don’t worry; they always show up. Maybe only two at a time, and maybe never the full 24-top, but over the course of the night, they’ll show up. You’ll know who they are because they’ll come in on their cell phones, wander around the dining room, then come back to the host stand to ask where the so-and-so party is.

I’m sure there’s a full bar and bowling alley in there. uscoachwayslimousine.com

5. Women
Look, ladies, no one is a bigger feminist than I. I even went to an all-girls college, for crying out loud. But when you come in as a group, the majority of you are rude. You walk by the host stand without so much as a smile; you bitch about sitting by the window, you complain about being too close to the kitchen. You want your sauce on the side and your drinks skinny. You talk while servers are explaining specials, and you seat yourselves in such a way it’s impossible for anyone to get around you. And the biggest shame, you’re notoriously bad tippers. I’m sure you’re a delight at home and at work. Please be that way in a restaurant.

I googled “group of women laughing” to get this. butterandwhiskey.com

That last line goes for all of you.

Note: This post is meant to be comical. The views expressed in this post are solely those of the Novice, a former hostess, and not the Chef’s or her previous employers’. 

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